Grounded

(part 4 of 14 of the “Honor Dare“)

Dare: Speak well of your parents to others
Verse: Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Cor 13:6-7)

We’re told that our tonges (and the words they speak) are the hardest part of the body to tame.  I’ve known this to be true in my life many, many times.  In this and a couple of other areas, I’ve known Paul’s feelings to be true when he speaks in Romans 7, “I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…”  In our words this seems to be a hard thing to control.  I want to be more encouraging to others, I want speak more truth, I want to lie less… I want to speak well of others rather then talk about their weaknesses behind their back!

The really interesting thing is this. The more we speak well of others (both when they’re around and when they’re not) - the more we realize that they’re actually really great people!  Even when we don’t say a thing to them directly (although this will be a natrual outflow once you start to get in the habit of speaking well of them) - you’re attitude and interaction will improve.  That’s almost like doing no work at all.  You simply choose to speak well of your mom and dad when others are complaining about theirs - and a side benefit is that you start to get along with your mom and dad better… and you didn’t even try to do that!

Surprise yourself - find one nice thing to share about your parents with someone else.  See how it changes your attitude towards them.

(part 3 of 14 of the “Honor Dare“)

Dare: Pray for your parents with a sibling or friend
Verse: Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. (Matthew 18:19)

This is a rather simple day.  And here’s the kicker - if you start with this dare each day for the rest of the “Dare” it’s bound to be “easier” for you.  Somehow in our small Christian worldview, the practice of prayer is often to daunting, to boring, or to misunderstood.  No matter how much we talk about it, hear about it and… well, pray about it… it often seems to always end up as our magic little bullet… the lifeline.  I’m finding, albeit slowly, that everything I’ve been told for all of these years (as a kid before I was a Christian and for the last 12 years as a Christian) - really is true.  Let me explain.

I’ve been a Christian for 12 years now and I’m finally starting to (by pure “will” sometimes) approaching my day in prayer.  And God has honestly been showing me that He is there, He is listening and He is doing His work within and through me.  Who knew!  Specifically in relation to my family.  As I’ve come before Him most mornings, I can tell you that I’ve seen a direct relation between what God is doing around me and what He’s directing me to be faithful in prayer about.  Whether it’s been for Laura and the girls or for my extended family, I can actually see days later that things were moving in those areas.  Not exactly as I had wanted every time, but moving non-the-less.  It’s been a very exciting thing to be honest.

Which brings me to your parents and family.  Prayer is the simplest and most powerful thing you can do for them.  It may seem cliche to say it - but at some point you realize that if enough people say it, it’s probably true (like “kids grow up so fast…” - true!).  Humbling yourself for five minutes of your day to simply ask that those around you would experience God’s love, would be open to Him throughout their day and that your relationship with them would be more loving and kind (Oooo, kind, that was yesterday’s challange!) isn’t a big chunk of your day.

Take five minutes right now… give it a try.

(part 2 of 14 of the “Honor Dare“)

Dare: Do something kind for your parents.
Verse: Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you (Ephesians 4:32)

Kindness can be a hard thing, especially in relationships where there is a structure in place that says, “you do what I tell you to”.  Our natural tendency to sin in our attitude, the one that says, “whatever, I’m old enough to make my own choices now.”  When those feelings creep in and start to grow deeper, we can easily start forgetting about kindness - because if we did, we’d have to worry about serving someone else.

I remember a profound thing that Laura’s mom used to say to her whenever Laura would call home from college upset, depressed or angry about something.  After listening for a while, Laura’s mom would end the conversation with, “Tell you what, how about you go do something for someone - go serve someone else for a little while, and then call me back.”  Inevitably, when Laura would do that (help a friend, go work in a soup kitchen, etc.) - there wasn’t much of a need to call her mom back to complain or grip again.  Serving others does that - puts our current agenda, wants, desires and general “me first”-ishness into perspective - makes them all seem pretty small.

And so, what better way to serve someone then those that have quite literally sacrificed a lot for you to exist and survive.  Cut them a little slack for once and do a good turn their way.  And remember, this isn’t a dare where you check something off the list and then forget about it, it’s a dare where you build each day upon the next.  So, today, as you set the table, clean your room, restock the wood pile or cook everyone’s favorite dessert for dinner - all without being asked - make sure you do it with a spirit that says “Yes, mom” and “Yes, dad” through the whole thing.

Just remember, if they look at you a little weird - if means you’re probably doing the right thing. 

(part 1 of 14 of the “Honor Dare“)

Dare: Respond, “Yes, Mom” and “Yes, Dad” all day.  No questioning or ignoring.
Verse: Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:2)

At 33 years old, I’ve had more then my fair share of anger, frustration and total annoyance at my parents.  Three years ago, however, because of what God did in my life, I’d like to think that my relationship with them has transformed as I’ve become more of the man that God has always desired I be.  Although it was my marriage that was near destruction, my parents once again showed the amazing kind of love and sacrifice that you have to stand back and be amazed at - even if you don’t see it in the moment.

When I finally started to “get it” at age 30, it was difficult sometimes to look back and realize how often I’d totally taken my parents for granted… how often I’d set my own desires and wants above theirs - and then expected them to serve me in getting what I wanted!  Trust me when I say, it will matter to you one day how you treated your parents and the amazing sacrifice they’ve made for you… even if it’s hard to see right now.

Today, you’re to practice the “first commandment with a promise” - a promise that deals with you directly.  The first step to honoring your father and mother is to learn how to submit to them humbly.  There is no simpler act of humility then to simply say “Yes, Mom” or “Yes, Dad” and not question or argue.  We’re sinners, we’re not wired to submit naturally.  But if you don’t learn to do this with your mom and dad, you will NOT learn to do it with the Creator of the Universe.  It’s impossible to say “I’m a follower of Christ” and yet not obey the first commandment dealing with your relationship to those around you… specifically mom and dad.

You have nothing to loose - except maybe a little bit of that selfish, me-first greediness that we’ve all grown accustomed to.  You do, however, have EVERYTHING to gain if you try it… really.  Imagine a home that’s peaceful simply because sons and daughters decided to say “Yes” without first saying “Why do I have to?” What do you have to loose?

Surprise!  I’m back.  :-)  Yes, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted - but there are only a few people that would ever consider checking this blog anyway - so I don’t think anyone is terribly let down.  But, a lot has been going on in our lives and I’ve had this big itch to try and start posting again.  Events of this past weekend put me in a spot to start again - maybe it can become a regular thing - maybe not.

Laura and I had the privilege to speaking at our churches youth retreat.  The theme was “God’s Surprising Love” - shown through gifts, words and family.  The weekend was unique because the students had no idea what they would be doing - it was billed as a “Mystery Retreat” - only the parents knew what was happening.  The students didn’t know that when they showed up, they would be split into two vans, guys and girls, and head opposite directions.

Friday night didn’t go exactly as planned because half of the students were taking part in a school dance and so the other students took part in a video scavenger hunt, ending at the school dance to “crash it” (they had the schools permission) and pick up the other students.  Laura waited at one local camp for the girls and I waited at another camp at the other end of the county for the guys.  Although it was a late night and weekend of little sleep - the students didn’t arrive until about 12:45AM - we both enjoyed preparing for the weekend and working together on the message for Saturday night.

My heart, when it came to the young men was to talk about one of the most overlooked gifts of the Christian: God’s Word.  I tried to demonstrate through the weekend that we’ve been fed a diet lacking in Christian Worldview and God’s given us the very tool we need to form it’s foundation.  We focused specifically on the Ten Commandments as the foundation of our Worldview and then talked on Saturday morning about what the world has to say about/to us (their worldview) and how we can respond.

We culminated the weekend last night giving the students a dare in the spirit of the “Love Dare” from the movie Fireproof.  We called ours the “Honor Dare” and encouraged the students to honor their parents - putting their hearts and passion where God intends it to be at this stage of their life… their homes.

With that in mind, I’m going to attempt to augment the slightly-larger-then-a-bookmark size 14-day dare card with a brief story/encouragement dealing with the challenge of that day.  Who knows if this will get me in the posting habit or not, but hopefully for the next 14 days (at least), I’ll have a few things to say.