Better than…

So, as is to be expected, it’s been two+ weeks since I’ve posted. ARG! But, no frustration here. 🙂

This morning, as we continue to wait and hope for this little baby to come (due date is tomorrow and Laura is MORE than ready), I have been living without much of a schedule. This means that I’ve worked late, gotten up late and arrived at work late (but then again, I was working late… so…). It also means that I’ve taken little to no time for reading the Word or simply praying.

This morning, actually getting up at a decent time (although still later than I should) – I got ready for work and decided to grab the guitar – yet another thing I swear I’ll do a few times a week but never get to. Honestly, I don’t know why I don’t grab the guitar more. If the house is quiet and I can just strum through a few basic chords – the Holy Spirit always moves in me. It usually takes a long time for me to get past the “if I just do this chord I’ll sound really good and then maybe I’ll get discovered and make a CD” thoughts. Once I’m past those, then I have to lay down the “let me find the perfect words to express how much God means to me – which of course I can then make into a song that I’ll sing at church and everyone will love me…”. Sometimes this happens more quickly – sometimes I’m just a dope and it takes a while. I’m a fleshy human I guess.

But, what I love is when I can get past those things and just find a melody that calms me down and actually begins to open my heart. This is the part where I should interject that with all of my “frustration” lately (from a Christian perspective that is) that one of the notes I’ve written down a few times in recent months is “worship seems so effeminate to me lately. I don’t feel much like ‘this is the air I breath… and I’m desperate for you’ during corporate worship with female voices leading.” I’m not saying that’s a good attitude at all, just that when I say “it begins to open my heart” – I know that there is actual work going on in my spirit that’s beyond the temporal. I love it when the Holy Spirit actually just moves past my junk. 🙂

Back to this morning. As I was playing through some chords – an old song came to mind that was perfect for this Valentine’s day. It actually moved my heart to a small time of worship. I was reminded that in all of this, the good, the bad, the frustrating – even when we’re (sometimes impatiently) waiting for our new child – God’s love is better than all things.

Your love is better than all things
Your love is better than all things
And I don’t have the strength of words
To tell You truly how I feel

Your love is better than life
Your love is better than life
And I don’t have the strength of words
To tell You truly how I feel

My God, You are the only one
For me, the only one for me
My God, Your love is better than all other loves
And now You’re drawing me
And I just want to be closer to You

Want to get closer
Got to get closer to You …

Today, worship and this music doesn’t seem so effeminate – it seems very real and very personal. That’s a good way to start Valentine’s day.

3 thoughts on “Better than…”

  1. Ryan,
    Don’t normally read blogs but happened upon yours while cleaning up bookmarks and got a kick out of your comment about “this is the air I breath… and I’m desperate for you” types of lyrics. I’ve noticed a plethora of those types of worship songs used in a corporate setting in recent years (IHOP, HOP, Sunday services). It springs out of authenticity and that heartfelt love from the individual worship song writers and singers but doesn’t fit so well for “sing-along” making it practically awkward at times. After all, when you express heartfelt romantic love to your wife (which is a manly thing to do), you don’t normally get a group who also appreciates her to join in with you. That said, sometimes it works wonderfully as we are all lovers of God and loved by him. So, when it doesn’t quite work for you… Hint: I sometimes sing my own lyrics in a corporate setting for these songs no matter what others are singing (just not too loud). It lets me express praise and worship that’s authentic. (I thought the other other Mark would appreciate my use of …)

  2. Mark,

    First off, nice work on the “…”!! Just feels right at home.

    Second, I couldn’t agree more on methods to focus my worship more. It feels so tough to break from the “cattle herd” mentality when you’ve been around PowerPoint lead corporate worship for all of your Christian life. But, one thing the Lord has done in my heart at different times is to realize that many of our songs are directed from me/us via “I” – rather then directed towards our Savior – “You” or simply “Jesus”. It’s in these times that I realize I have the freedom to express that – rather then following the crowd. Where the Spirit of the Lord is…

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